Super-Human Fight League(*SPAM*)

[douchebagjones]

A shakey and disheveled Thadeus Kill talks into his microphone.

[glow=blue,2,300]Thadeus Kill:[/glow] H-Hello, fight....fans. It be me, Thadeus Kill, former owner of Pancrase-Real Pro-Wrestling. After my business collapsed, I hit the bottle pretty hard.... But now I'm BACK and I've got a GREAT MMA promotion to offer you!


[glow=red,2,300]The Super-Human Fight League![/glow]


In the Clone Age, anything is possible! Humans with powers far beyond normal men are popping up! And, wouldn'tchaknowit they want to use their powers to beat the shit out of people!

We've managed to find several of those Super-Humans, and we've had them fight a few times for this promotional footage. Check these out, they feature big names like:

• The Incredible Hulk, the green muscle-man who could punch Earth to pieces if he felt like it!
  
  
• SUPER KNIGHT, the 16 foot tall monster that Roger Knight becomes whenever he drinks out of that darn toxic vat! This bitch fought Jesus once!
  
  
• Doc Samson, the doctor who exposed himself to the Hulk's radiation and became 70 percent as strong as him! Although not as strong as the Hulk, he makes up for it by being really aggressive. Watch those flying knees!
  
  
• The Fantastic Les! Les Henderson PLUS stretching ability. Awesome!
  
  
• The Thing, the hard-rocky member of the Fantastic Four. Booyah Kasha!
  
  
• Korda the Comedian, a member of the infamous FUCKMEN!
  
  
• Namor the Submariner! A guy who swims alot!
  
  

Video 1: The Incredible Hulk is half the size of SUPER KNIGHT, but will that bring his defeat? Well, KNIGHT surely knows about his own height advantage, and adopts a style that allows him to use his full leg reach.

.........ROUND 1 STARTS.........
SUPER KNIGHT DROPS TO GUARD......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS HESITANT.......
THE HULK FIRES A FLYING FOOTSTOMP TO THE HEAD
...... MISSED BADLY.....
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A UP KICK TO THE HEAD
(* NEW RECORD *)
...... GLANCING BLOW.......
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK FIRES A FLYING FOOTSTOMP TO THE HEAD
...... MISSED BADLY.....
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A UP KICK TO THE HEAD
(* NEW RECORD *)
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
THE HULK IS STAGGERED!!!!.......
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK FIRES A FLYING FOOTSTOMP TO THE HEAD
...... MISSED BADLY.....
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A UP KICK TO THE HEAD
...... SOLID SHOT!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK FIRES A FLYING FOOTSTOMP TO THE HEAD
...... MISSED BADLY.....
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A UP KICK TO THE HEAD
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
THE HULK IS STAGGERED!!!!.......
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK FIRES A FLYING FOOTSTOMP TO THE HEAD
...... MISSED BADLY.....
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A UP KICK TO THE HEAD
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS IN GUARD POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK CARTWHEELS ONTO SUPER KNIGHT!..........
SUPER KNIGHT CLOSES THE DISTANCE, BUT THE HULK THROWS A BARRAGE OF PUNCHES...
...... MISSED BADLY.......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
(* NEW RECORD *)
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK STANDS AND SOCCER KICKS SUPER KNIGHT!!!...
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS A BROKEN HAND......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
(* NEW RECORD *)
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
THE HULK HAS THE SIDE MOUNT POSITION......
.........
THE HULK FIRES A SERIES OF PUNCHES.....
CRUSHING BLOWS!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS RATTLED!!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT COLD!!!......
THE HULK WINS BY KO / GROUND STRIKES / GROUND STRIKES AT THE TIME OF 2 : 31 OF ROUND 1 .



For any fans of SUPER KNIGHT, it should be noted that KNIGHT won a kickboxing bout against the Hulk later.

SUPER KNIGHT VS. DOC SAMSON( 6-5, 300 POUNDS)

.........ROUND 1 STARTS.........
DOC SAMSON LOOKS HESITANT.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A FLYING KNEE TO THE HEAD
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS STAGGERED!!!!.......
SUPER KNIGHT DROPS TO HIS KNESS!......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
SUPER KNIGHT FIRES A COMBINATION OF PUNCHES...
...... MISSED BADLY.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A FLYING KNEE TO THE HEAD
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A FLYING KNEE TO THE HEAD
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT IS STAGGERED!!!!.......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
SUPER KNIGHT TAKES A QUICK BREATHER......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
.......................
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
SUPER KNIGHT SEARCHES FOR A TAKEDOWN.....
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
SUPER KNIGHT SHOOTS AND ATTEMPTS A DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN
... DOC SAMSON SPRAWLS AND
SUPER KNIGHT IS ON ALL FOURS POSITION......
SUPER KNIGHT PULLS GUARD!......
DOC SAMSON IS IN SUPER KNIGHT'S OPEN GUARD........
.........
SUPER KNIGHT COUNTERS WITH A OMOPLATA ...........
CRIPPLING LOCK.......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
(* NEW RECORD *)
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!......
SUPER KNIGHT WRENCHES THE LOCK!!!.......................

Because the Omoplata was going on forever, KNIGHT won by tech sub.

For the final video, we feature Samson vs. Hulk. Notice the use of energy bolts during this fight.

.........ROUND 1 STARTS.........
DOC SAMSON LOOKS HESITANT.......
THE HULK FIRES A COMBINATION OF PUNCHES...
...... MISSED BADLY.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A JAB
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
THE HULK IS STAGGERED!!!!.......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK DRIVES DOC SAMSON INTO THE CORNER!......
THE HULK CHASES DOC SAMSON !!!
THE HULK FIRES A FLURRY OF PUNCHES...
...... MISSED BADLY.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A HEAT VISION BOLT
...... CRUSHING SHOT!!!......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK DRIVES DOC SAMSON INTO THE CORNER!......
THE HULK FIRES A COMBINATION OF PUNCHES...
...... MISSED BADLY.......
DOC SAMSON FIRES A FIRE BALL
......THE HULK SMILES AS if IT DIDNT HURT HIM!.......
DOC SAMSON LOOKS CONFIDENT.......
THE HULK GRABS DOC SAMSON IN A CLINCH......
THE HULK GOES FOR A SLAM
...... DOC SAMSON IS SLAMMED HEAD-FIRST TO THE MAT!!........
(* NEW RECORD *)
DOC SAMSON IS KNOCKED OUT COLD BY THE SLAM! WHAT A TREMENDOUS KO!!
THE HULK WINS BY KO / SLAM / SLAM AT THE TIME OF 0 : 39 OF ROUND 1 .

[douchebagjones]

[glow=red,2,300]SUPER-HUMAN FIGHT LEAGUE COMING SOON![/glow]


New regulations may sift out some of the initial fighters, but if everything goes right, the main event will be SUPER-KNIGHT versus Colossus:




VERSUS

[douchebagjones]

No shit, I'm the biggest badass on this site. Just wait until you see what I'm going to do in the Keene vs. Korda thread.

Edit: It's a damn good thing that Super-Knight is 16 feet tall and is super-strong. The regular Roger Knight wouldn't have a chance in hell beating the metal Colossus with those flimsy, foam nunchucks.