Post by douchebagjones on Feb 25, 2007 10:14:02 GMT -5
We set scene to the South side of the city, where the corpulent Arnold C.J Asswhoopings takes a short-cut through an alleyway to reach his destination. Naturally, his " Bunanahnah" song fills the passage.
His music is drowned out, however, and our ears are filled with the beats of the Ghetto Jam. Asswhoopings turns around to see the solomn Walker Jackson standing at the entrance of the alley. Asswhoopings is the first to speak.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Music follows you everywhere too?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] That it does. How you been?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Fine. I just went out to pick up some Home And Garden mags. You........
They pause.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Listen.....
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] How many people did you kill!?! I heard it was about 9 or ten people!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Nah, I've killed atleast a couple thousa..... Oh, you mean just in the Brawlatorium fight, right? Yeah, about 9 or ten.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Well, why were you doin' the Whoreschach's dirty work?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] The FUCKMEN hired me as an enforcer.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] I see. Well, why you down here, compadre? Checkin' up on an old aquintance?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Hahaha. Actually, I got an offer for you. You see.... The FUCKMEN are quite a revolutionary group. They kill, rape, paste, and shit, and all for the greater good of MMA. By terrorising useless fat-cats like Costanzo Granitelli, they'll eventually be able to obtain enough power to prevent an MMA monopoly and they'll be able to force their own great ideas on the MMA masses. But......
After all this fighting and raiding and shit they've been doing, they need some breathing room and an outlet to get more followers. That's where you would come in. You are the new referre for Under-Ground Pitfighting. The next card for that will take place in the Ukraine, a perfect spot for the Fuckmen to rest and gain MMA followers. If you accept this offer, and I KNOW you will, you'll need to stow away the entire governing body of the Fuckmen on the plane that's takin' the gear and fighters and shit from America to Europe. You'll get 50,000 Canadian dolla's fo' yo'
efforts. Waddaya say?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Apparently, you're not just a hired enforcer. ( He licks his lips) Ya know wa? I think I'm gonna have to pass on that offa. ( Jackson looks shocked).
You ain't as badass as they say, I guess, cuz you donno who I really am, I guess.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] (Humpff) What, you spos to be that scary agent dat Greg Frazier hired to protect UnderGround Shitfighting?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Bingo, MUTHAFUCKER!
Jackson lashes out and punches Asswhoopings square in the face. He falls down on his back.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] You best keep yo' ass outta our business, bitch, or I'm takin' yo' ass down to the Eighth Circle of Hell, where you belong.
With alarming speed, Asswhoopings gets up and overhands Jackson flush on the chin. Jackson is floored. He gets up, and they both drop into their streetfighter stances.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] We doin'this? We doin' this? Oh hell yeah, we doin' this.
Jackson kicks Asswhoopings in the breadbasket and floors him. He gets up, but is dropped by an elbow strike. He trys to get up again, and Jackson repeats the manuever.
This time, Jackson grabs Asswhoopings' head to knee strike. Then suddenly, Asswhoopings' lashes out to grab Jackson's balls.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Monkey steals the peaches!!!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Why you dirty mutha.....
Jackson is interrupted when Asswhoopings jumps up and whips his head into his face. Jackson responds to this with a headbutt of his own. Asshwhoopings fires back with another headbutt. They each take turns headbutting eachother until they time the next set of headbutts at the same time and their foreheads clash. They each sprawl back in pain.
Then, Asswhoopings tackles Jackson and packs him up against a brick wall. Asswhoopings leverages Jackson up into a vertical slamming position and piledrives Jackson's head into the ground. Blood splatters everywhere.
Jackson won't have any of that, however, as he reverses Asswhoopings and grabs his throat, pinning him on the ground. He punches him about 25 times.
Asswhoopings jiu-jitsu sweeps Jackson and ends up on top; he starts slamming his knee right in Walker's nutsack! Then he starts landing Paul Varelans elbows onto Jackson's facial extremities. Jackson tries to manuever his way out, and ends upon his feet; Asswhoopings, however, latches onto his arm.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Golden grillz, do your thing!
With surprising speed, Asswhoopings uses his golden grillz to gnaw through Jackson's left arm. Blood spills everywhere, and the arm falls to the floor. Jackson, ignoring ther pain, backflips to the entranceway of the alley, where a mother is strolling her children in a baby carriage.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Eating babies makes Walker Jackson strong!
Using his long tongue, Jackson slurps up several babies. His arm grows back. However, Asswhoopings uses that arm to shoulderthrow Jackson into a car that was parked in the alley. Jackson's feet crash through the rear window.
Walker manuevers his way out of Arnold's grip, and goes behind the car, where he finds a two by four. He picks it up and smashes Asswhoopings in the face with it. Then he jabs Asswhoopings in the stomach with the sharp end. Asswhoopings falls down, but quickly gets back up with a glass bottle in his hand.
He smashes the bottle against Jackson's head and slashes his chest with the broken glass. Jackson hits Asswhoopings in the shoulder with the board; apparently there had been a nail stuck in it, which causes the board to stick to him. He rips it out in pain.
Asswhoopings stumbles into into a trashcan. He sees something shiney in it, and having the mind of a child, he picks it up. It's a switchblade knife.
When Jackson advances, he is meet with a swoosh of steel. He screams in agony when the knife pierces his skin. He won't take that for too long, however, as he rips the knife out of his shoulder and sticks the knife in Asswhoopings' skin. He screams in pain, but like Jackson, he rips the knife out and tries to stab him. Jackson tries to stop it, but he is distracted by a slap in the face and the blade goes in anyway. They start exchanging knife stabs until the knife breaks and they both try to fumble with the blade. Asswhoopings ends up trying to stab Jackson with the handle.
They both drop the knife nonsense and they clinch and start slugging. They throw eachother around, into the walls, the car, everything. The drop haymaker bombs on eachother. Blood speckles on the ground.
Then suddenly, Asswhoopings advances when Jackson shoots his hand in between his legs. Jackson crotch lifts Asswhoopings and slams him on the ground. SMASH!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] There, that outta keep you out for a while.
Jackson leaves Asswhoopings unconscious on the ground as he brings his own aching body over to a wall to lean on. He overestimated how hurt Asswhoopings was, however, as he gets up and walks over to Jackson.
Asswhoopings lands a flurry of body shots. He then grabs the back of Jackson's head and smashes his face against the wall. Jackson gets tripped up and falls to the ground.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] ( Taking out a pair of sunglasses) Put on these glasses and look out to the entrance!
Asswhoopings forces the glasses on Jackson's face. Leaning up, Jackson looks out to see several alien people standing at the alley's entranceway.
[glow=red,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Woah...... Is the Earth..... being invaded? And these glasses are the only way to......
Asswhoopings smashes a brick into Jackson's skull. He falls down, dead and bloody.
Bunanananahnah!
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] The old stickers on the glasses trick.... Get's em' everytime! Now, let's see what you got on ya.
Asswhoopings looks through Walker's coat, and finds several cards, notes, and contacts.
Baow Baow Baow!
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Ahh.... Showtime. Time for the investigation to really begin. I'll break this organization down....All of them, every single one of those bastards is goin' down. I better get my gear to begin.
The battle weary but powerful figure walks off into the sunset.
Bunan Nah!
His music is drowned out, however, and our ears are filled with the beats of the Ghetto Jam. Asswhoopings turns around to see the solomn Walker Jackson standing at the entrance of the alley. Asswhoopings is the first to speak.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Music follows you everywhere too?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] That it does. How you been?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Fine. I just went out to pick up some Home And Garden mags. You........
They pause.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Listen.....
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] How many people did you kill!?! I heard it was about 9 or ten people!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Nah, I've killed atleast a couple thousa..... Oh, you mean just in the Brawlatorium fight, right? Yeah, about 9 or ten.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Well, why were you doin' the Whoreschach's dirty work?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] The FUCKMEN hired me as an enforcer.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] I see. Well, why you down here, compadre? Checkin' up on an old aquintance?
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Hahaha. Actually, I got an offer for you. You see.... The FUCKMEN are quite a revolutionary group. They kill, rape, paste, and shit, and all for the greater good of MMA. By terrorising useless fat-cats like Costanzo Granitelli, they'll eventually be able to obtain enough power to prevent an MMA monopoly and they'll be able to force their own great ideas on the MMA masses. But......
After all this fighting and raiding and shit they've been doing, they need some breathing room and an outlet to get more followers. That's where you would come in. You are the new referre for Under-Ground Pitfighting. The next card for that will take place in the Ukraine, a perfect spot for the Fuckmen to rest and gain MMA followers. If you accept this offer, and I KNOW you will, you'll need to stow away the entire governing body of the Fuckmen on the plane that's takin' the gear and fighters and shit from America to Europe. You'll get 50,000 Canadian dolla's fo' yo'
efforts. Waddaya say?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Apparently, you're not just a hired enforcer. ( He licks his lips) Ya know wa? I think I'm gonna have to pass on that offa. ( Jackson looks shocked).
You ain't as badass as they say, I guess, cuz you donno who I really am, I guess.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] (Humpff) What, you spos to be that scary agent dat Greg Frazier hired to protect UnderGround Shitfighting?
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Bingo, MUTHAFUCKER!
Jackson lashes out and punches Asswhoopings square in the face. He falls down on his back.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] You best keep yo' ass outta our business, bitch, or I'm takin' yo' ass down to the Eighth Circle of Hell, where you belong.
With alarming speed, Asswhoopings gets up and overhands Jackson flush on the chin. Jackson is floored. He gets up, and they both drop into their streetfighter stances.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] We doin'this? We doin' this? Oh hell yeah, we doin' this.
Jackson kicks Asswhoopings in the breadbasket and floors him. He gets up, but is dropped by an elbow strike. He trys to get up again, and Jackson repeats the manuever.
This time, Jackson grabs Asswhoopings' head to knee strike. Then suddenly, Asswhoopings' lashes out to grab Jackson's balls.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Monkey steals the peaches!!!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Why you dirty mutha.....
Jackson is interrupted when Asswhoopings jumps up and whips his head into his face. Jackson responds to this with a headbutt of his own. Asshwhoopings fires back with another headbutt. They each take turns headbutting eachother until they time the next set of headbutts at the same time and their foreheads clash. They each sprawl back in pain.
Then, Asswhoopings tackles Jackson and packs him up against a brick wall. Asswhoopings leverages Jackson up into a vertical slamming position and piledrives Jackson's head into the ground. Blood splatters everywhere.
Jackson won't have any of that, however, as he reverses Asswhoopings and grabs his throat, pinning him on the ground. He punches him about 25 times.
Asswhoopings jiu-jitsu sweeps Jackson and ends up on top; he starts slamming his knee right in Walker's nutsack! Then he starts landing Paul Varelans elbows onto Jackson's facial extremities. Jackson tries to manuever his way out, and ends upon his feet; Asswhoopings, however, latches onto his arm.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Golden grillz, do your thing!
With surprising speed, Asswhoopings uses his golden grillz to gnaw through Jackson's left arm. Blood spills everywhere, and the arm falls to the floor. Jackson, ignoring ther pain, backflips to the entranceway of the alley, where a mother is strolling her children in a baby carriage.
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Eating babies makes Walker Jackson strong!
Using his long tongue, Jackson slurps up several babies. His arm grows back. However, Asswhoopings uses that arm to shoulderthrow Jackson into a car that was parked in the alley. Jackson's feet crash through the rear window.
Walker manuevers his way out of Arnold's grip, and goes behind the car, where he finds a two by four. He picks it up and smashes Asswhoopings in the face with it. Then he jabs Asswhoopings in the stomach with the sharp end. Asswhoopings falls down, but quickly gets back up with a glass bottle in his hand.
He smashes the bottle against Jackson's head and slashes his chest with the broken glass. Jackson hits Asswhoopings in the shoulder with the board; apparently there had been a nail stuck in it, which causes the board to stick to him. He rips it out in pain.
Asswhoopings stumbles into into a trashcan. He sees something shiney in it, and having the mind of a child, he picks it up. It's a switchblade knife.
When Jackson advances, he is meet with a swoosh of steel. He screams in agony when the knife pierces his skin. He won't take that for too long, however, as he rips the knife out of his shoulder and sticks the knife in Asswhoopings' skin. He screams in pain, but like Jackson, he rips the knife out and tries to stab him. Jackson tries to stop it, but he is distracted by a slap in the face and the blade goes in anyway. They start exchanging knife stabs until the knife breaks and they both try to fumble with the blade. Asswhoopings ends up trying to stab Jackson with the handle.
They both drop the knife nonsense and they clinch and start slugging. They throw eachother around, into the walls, the car, everything. The drop haymaker bombs on eachother. Blood speckles on the ground.
Then suddenly, Asswhoopings advances when Jackson shoots his hand in between his legs. Jackson crotch lifts Asswhoopings and slams him on the ground. SMASH!
[glow=blue,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] There, that outta keep you out for a while.
Jackson leaves Asswhoopings unconscious on the ground as he brings his own aching body over to a wall to lean on. He overestimated how hurt Asswhoopings was, however, as he gets up and walks over to Jackson.
Asswhoopings lands a flurry of body shots. He then grabs the back of Jackson's head and smashes his face against the wall. Jackson gets tripped up and falls to the ground.
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] ( Taking out a pair of sunglasses) Put on these glasses and look out to the entrance!
Asswhoopings forces the glasses on Jackson's face. Leaning up, Jackson looks out to see several alien people standing at the alley's entranceway.
[glow=red,2,300]Jackson:[/glow] Woah...... Is the Earth..... being invaded? And these glasses are the only way to......
Asswhoopings smashes a brick into Jackson's skull. He falls down, dead and bloody.
Bunanananahnah!
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] The old stickers on the glasses trick.... Get's em' everytime! Now, let's see what you got on ya.
Asswhoopings looks through Walker's coat, and finds several cards, notes, and contacts.
Baow Baow Baow!
[glow=red,2,300]Asswhoopings:[/glow] Ahh.... Showtime. Time for the investigation to really begin. I'll break this organization down....All of them, every single one of those bastards is goin' down. I better get my gear to begin.
The battle weary but powerful figure walks off into the sunset.
Bunan Nah!
